Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
