It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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