I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
