i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
