I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize