Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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