I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
