Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize