Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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