Soap is not a condiment
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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