everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
