I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
