I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
