What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
