I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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