Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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