It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize