How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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