We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Liz is crying about burritos again.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I enjoy the company of your penis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
