i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
