Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's shark week go big or go home
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
