I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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