All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will pee on everything he values.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
