My sheets look like a crime scene.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
