Soap is not a condiment
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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