You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
