marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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