Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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