Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
