She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We are two peas in an std pod
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
that may or may not have been my penis.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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