Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
