The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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