Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
