Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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