Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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