Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
