I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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