the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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