"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
