I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
