Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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