I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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