He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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