There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
