Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
how do flat chested girls get laid?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
