I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
