Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
