that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
