yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
