I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Someone came in the potted fern
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
