I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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