i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
