just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
