Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
