She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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