Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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