So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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